How to Get Over from a Breakup: 5 Ways to Take Control of Your Healing

How to Get Over a Breakup: 5 Ways to Take Control of Your Healing

Breakups are tough. No matter how it went down, it's a loss, and losses hurt. You're grieving the end of a relationship, the hopes and dreams you had for the future, and the person you shared your life with. It's okay to feel sad, angry, confused, and even a little bit lost. But remember, you're not alone, and it's possible to heal and move on.

While everyone heals at their own pace, there are some things you can do to take control of your healing and start feeling better. Think of these as tools in your healing toolbox, things you can grab and utilize when you need them most. So, grab your favorite cup of tea, put on your comfiest pajamas, and let's get started.

1. Allow Yourself to Grieve

The first step to healing is letting yourself feel your feelings. Don't try to suppress them or pretend you're okay. Let yourself cry, yell, scream, or write in a journal. Whatever feels right for you.

This is a really important point. You are not weak for feeling sad. It's actually a sign of strength that you're acknowledging your feelings. Trying to ignore them or bottle them up will only make things worse in the long run.

Allowing yourself to fully experience the pain of the breakup, even though it's tough, is a vital part of the healing process. It's like taking a detour on a road trip. You might not want to go that way, but it's necessary to reach your destination.

Tips for Allowing Yourself to Grieve

• Don't judge yourself. You're allowed to feel whatever you're feeling. Don't put pressure on yourself to be happy or "move on" too quickly.
• Find a safe space to express your emotions. This could be a journal, a trusted friend, or even a therapist.
• Give yourself permission to take time for yourself. Go for a walk, read a book, or watch a movie - whatever helps you relax and de-stress.

2. Focus on Self-Care

When you're going through a breakup, it's easy to neglect your own needs. You might find yourself sleeping too much, eating too little, or not taking care of yourself in other ways. But taking care of yourself is crucial for your physical and mental health, and it will help you heal faster.

Think of self-care like giving your emotional body a warm bath. It soothes your feelings and helps you relax. This might look like:

• Eating healthy foods. Nourishing your body with good food gives you energy to cope.
• Getting enough sleep. Sleep deprivation can make your feelings more intense. Aim for 7-8 hours of sleep each night.
• Exercising regularly. Exercise is a great stress reliever and can improve your mood. Even a short walk can make a difference.
• Spending time with loved ones. Social connection is crucial for your well-being. Surround yourself with supportive people who love and care for you.
• Engaging in activities you enjoy. Make time for hobbies that bring you joy and relaxation, like reading, painting, listening to music, or spending time in nature.

3. Limit Contact with Your Ex

It's tempting to reach out to your ex, especially when you're feeling lonely or sad. But seeing or talking to them can make it harder to heal.

It's like trying to get over a bad cold while constantly being around someone who's contagious. You might feel a little better for a moment, but you'll end up getting sick again.

The best thing you can do for your own healing is to limit contact with your ex. This doesn't mean you need to cut them out of your life entirely, but it's important to create space between you so you can both have the time and space to heal.

Tips for Limiting Contact

• Unfollow them on social media. This way you won't be bombarded with updates about their life.
• Block their number if you need to. You don't have to explain anything to anyone. Do what you need to do to protect your emotional well-being.
• Avoid places you used to frequent together. Give yourself time to heal and move on.

4. Practice Gratitude and Forgiveness

It's easy to focus on the negative after a breakup. You might find yourself dwelling on all the things that went wrong, or all the things you lost. But this will only prolong your suffering.

Instead, try to focus on the positive. Think about all the good things you learned from the relationship, even if it didn't work out. Practicing gratitude for the lessons and experiences, no matter how difficult they may seem, can help you shift your perspective and move forward.

Forgiveness is a powerful tool for healing. It doesn't mean condoning your ex's actions, but it means releasing the anger and resentment you might be holding onto. Forgiving them (and yourself) can free you from the weight of bitterness and allow you to move on.

Tips for Practicing Gratitude and Forgiveness

• Keep a gratitude journal. Write down a few things you're grateful for each day. This could be anything, from the sunshine to a good cup of coffee to a kind word from a friend.
• Practice mindfulness. Take some time each day to focus on your breath and be present in the moment. Mindfulness can help you become more aware of your thoughts and feelings and let go of negative ones.
• Write a forgiveness letter to your ex (you don't have to send it). This is a great way to express your feelings and let go of the anger and resentment.

5. Focus on the Future

It's okay to grieve the past, but it's also important to look toward the future.

While it can feel like you're starting over, think of it as a fresh start. You have an opportunity to create something new and exciting.

Now is the time to focus on your goals and dreams, both big and small. What do you want to achieve in your life? What kind of person do you want to be?

Start taking steps towards your goals, even if they seem small. Every little step forward is a sign of progress and a reminder that you're moving in the right direction.

Tips for Focusing on the Future

• Set realistic goals. Don't try to do too much too soon. Start with small, achievable goals that will help you build momentum.
• Make a vision board. Collect images and quotes that represent your goals and dreams. This can help you visualize what you want to achieve.
• Seek support from friends and family. Surround yourself with positive people who will encourage and support your goals.
• Remember that you are not alone. Millions of people have gone through breakups and come out the other side. You can do it too.

Final Thoughts: Embrace the Journey

Healing from a breakup is a journey, not a destination. There will be good days and bad days. There will be moments when you feel like you're making progress, and there will be moments when you feel like you're stuck in the same place.

Just remember to be patient with yourself. It takes time to heal, and you're doing a great job. Keep moving forward, one step at a time.

And remember: You are strong, capable, and worthy of love. You will get through this, and you will come out stronger on the other side.