How to Get Back with an Ex When They’re Hesitant

Okay, so you’ve been thinking about your ex a lot lately. Maybe you’ve even reached out, and they respondedâ€"but not in the way you hoped. They seem hesitant. Maybe they’re not ready to jump back into a relationship right away.

Don’t worry! It’s not the end of the world. Getting back with an ex is a process, and it takes time, understanding, and, most importantly, a genuine desire to make things work this time around.

Here’s the deal: I’m going to lay out some strategies that can help you navigate this tricky situation. Remember, every relationship is different, and what works for one couple might not work for another. So, be open to adapting these suggestions to fit your own unique circumstances.

Understanding Their Hesitation

Before you even think about getting back together, you need to understand why your ex is hesitant. Why did you break up in the first place? Were there unresolved issues? Were there trust issues? Or did you simply grow apart?

Here are some common reasons why people hesitate to get back with their exes:

• They need time to process the breakup and heal.
• They're worried about getting hurt again.
• They're unsure if they still have feelings for you.
• They're worried about repeating the same mistakes.
• They've moved on and are seeing someone else.

It’s important to be honest with yourself about the reasons for the breakup and how much you've both changed since then. If you’re not sure why they’re hesitant, simply ask them.

Open Communication is Key

Don’t be afraid to have an honest and open conversation with your ex. Ask them what their concerns are, what they need from you, and what they're thinking. Listen actively, without getting defensive. Even if it’s painful to hear, understand that their hesitation is probably coming from a place of hurt or uncertainty.

Be willing to talk about the past and acknowledge your role in the breakup. If you’re serious about getting back together, show them that you've learned from your mistakes and are willing to put in the effort to make things work differently this time.

Show Them You’ve Changed

Actions speak louder than words, right? If you truly want to get back with your ex, show them that you've changed. This might mean working on issues you were struggling with before, such as communication, trust, or jealousy. Maybe it means taking steps to improve your life, like getting into therapy or working on your career.

No matter what, make an effort to become the best version of yourself. This will not only make you a better partner, but it will also show your ex that you’re serious about making things work.

Give Them Space

Let’s face it, being “back on the market” after a relationship can be exciting. Your ex is probably going through a period of rediscovering themselves and exploring new things. This doesn't mean they're over you. It just means they’re trying to figure out who they are now.

Give them the space they need. Don't bombard them with messages or calls. If they're not ready to talk, respect that. Be patient and let them come to you in their own time.

Show Them You Care

Even if you’re giving them space, there are still ways to show them you care. Maybe you can send them a thoughtful message or text checking in on them, but only if it's appropriate. If they mention something important to them, like a big project or an upcoming event, offer your support.

Show them that you’re there for them, even if you’re not trying to get back together right away. Small acts of kindness can go a long way in demonstrating your genuine interest in them.

Focus on You

Here’s the thing: while you're focusing on showing your ex you've changed, don’t forget to work on yourself. It’s a two-way street! Your ex might be hesitant, but you shouldn't stop living your life.

Continue pursuing your hobbies, making plans with friends, and growing as an individual. This will not only make you a more interesting and well-rounded person, but it will also help you to be more confident and secure in yourself. And a confident, happy you is much more attractive, right?

Be Prepared for the Possibility of Rejection

I know, I know. You don’t want to hear this, but it’s important to be prepared for the possibility that your ex may not want to get back together. It’s not a reflection of you; it’s just their decision.

If they say no, respect their choice. Don’t try to guilt-trip them or change their mind. Take some time to process your feelings and move on. It’s okay to be sad or disappointed, but don’t dwell on it. This is your chance to start fresh and focus on building a life you love.

Don’t Rush Things

If your ex does agree to try again, remember that it’s going to take time to rebuild trust and heal old wounds. Don’t expect everything to be perfect immediately. Take things slowly.

Focus on building a strong foundation of communication, respect, and mutual understanding. It’s also important to set healthy boundaries and be honest with each other about your needs and expectations.

Commonly Asked Questions

What if they’re not ready to talk?

If they're not ready to talk, respect their space. Let them know that you're there for them when they are. You can send a simple text saying, "I understand if you need some time. Just know that I'm here for you if you want to talk."

How long should I wait?

There's no magic number. It depends on the individual situation. If it's been a long time since you broke up, you may want to give them more space. If it's been a shorter time, you may be able to reach out sooner. But in general, it's always a good idea to err on the side of caution and give them some time.

What if they’re seeing someone else?

This is a tough one. If they're dating someone else, you need to respect their decision. It's probably best to not reach out to them until they're single again. However, if they're open to talking, you could try to understand why they're seeing someone else. Maybe they're trying to fill the void left by the breakup. Or maybe they're just trying to move on. Either way, be respectful of their choices.

Should I apologize?

Apologizing can be a good way to show your ex that you're taking responsibility for your actions. However, be sincere and specific about what you’re apologizing for. Don’t make empty apologies.

Remember, getting back with an ex is a complex process. There's no guarantee it will work out, but if you're both willing to put in the effort and address the issues that led to the breakup, you might just have a chance at making things work this time around.